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Paul had hoped that being in a large group of sexually charged guys fullof testosterone all of whom had the gift of getting girls, would mean Istood a better chance. In fact, if anything, it was even worse than usual,every group of girls we encountered all ignored me, even the ones who wereusually left in a group paid me no attention (you know the type), so I wasleft watching the guys score wherever we went and I was left propping upthe bar and getting more and more drunk and more and more depressed. Eventhe weed was failing to raise my spirits and I was decidedly unhappy.Back at the house, Paul had been on the phone for the last 20 minutes andwas now in a huddle with Leo and Curtis, meanwhile Richard had passed outon the sofa and I was curled up on the love seat trying to stop the roomspinning and occasionally pulling on the reefer that Ian had rolled andwas sharing out. I glanced over at the group of guys and saw them staringintently at me."Oh oh," I thought. I knew that look from. Erica snuggled tightly into Alan’s arms and agreed.’I don’t want to ever go back either. I want what we have here and now, and I want to move forward into this new life with you.’ ‘Good. Erica, you’re the only woman I’ve ever truly loved and we are going forward together. The next few days I’m going to take you on a journey of exploration, it’s an exploration of you and there will be times that you feel uncomfortable and even times when you reach your limits. So here’s what I want you to do. If you ever start feeling really uncomfortable about anything you say, ‘yellow light’ and if you reach your limits you say,- ‘red light’. Today I want to be all about Erica, Erica a sensual sexual being. What is she like? What makes her tick and what can we do to take my baby to the next step.’ Alan responded. Alan looked at Erica, caressed her face and looked intensely into her eyes and said. ‘Erica, the only way I know to help make sure this doesn’t happen again is for both of us to understand.
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